| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2006|06:44 pm] |
i suck at life
and im sorry im not emotionally or mentally sound right now
i promise you, you are amazing
you blew my mind at times
but im not ready for that
not right now |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2006|03:24 pm] |
John Squire
69 depth, 45 controversy ,54 talent |
A very intelligent and exceptionally talented individual. Probably the
greatest guitarist since Hendrix but has a lot more to him than just
that. If you are anything like Squire then feel free to take over the
planet. |  |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 94% on deepness | | You scored higher than 47% on controversy | | You scored higher than 65% on musicianship |
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| ganked this bitch from sheena |
[Jan. 12th, 2006|03:36 am] |
YOU
1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my lj:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favorite place to be:
11. favorite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
13. weirdest food you like:
14. do you wanna hang out sometime?:
RECOMMEND
1. a film:
2. a book:
3. a band, a song and an album:
PLUS
1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.
4. post a picture of you (if possible): |
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| weird dreams |
[Dec. 23rd, 2005|12:19 pm] |
i had this dream
in which i worked at a zoo, and i was taking care of penguins, then i was driving a go kart around inside the zoo, and an ex of mine had come there to meet up with me, unannounced, maybe because every now and then i think about trying to go see her and not say anything until im there, and then hope for the best, and i hadnt seen her in a while, and i went to give her a hug but it was awkward, my first love, and maybe strongest ever, but things didnt turn out the way they should have, and now we can never repair what we had, stupid me, oh well, too many mistakes made and bitter words said, oh well
im hoping one day ill be able to find someone to replace her, this last attempt sorta failed
but im not really looking right now, i got too much else to do with my life right now prolly to worry about anything serious
the other night i dreamed i was fat, and i was fine for about 30 minutes after i woke up, and then suddenly it hit me and i had to check, but im safe, not fat, i still gots ma hip bones |
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| : ) |
[Dec. 13th, 2005|05:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mae | ] |
i love my mom, she makes me laugh, even talking about something thats got me down
ameindividudamne: but even when i do finish straightening my life up
ameindividudamne: ill still be sad without her
my mom: do you get credit for progress?
i've started talking to my mom a lot more recently, i love her a lot, and i wish that i had talked to her more growing up, but since she lives on the other side of the country and ive been too consumed by living in the moment, i never did
so we talked about where im going with my life, and theres only one career ive ever wanted for more than a year, and that i still want now, i had written it off
as much as i hate to admit it, it seems that my dad's opinion on things does end up affecting me, and he always shot me down when i talked about it, said you wont get paid, youll never be happy, and despite my beliefs on getting your life's joy from the people you love and having your own family, it still got to me, and i gave up on it,
but im talking to my mom now, and i told her, and she fully supports it, and weve been talking about it, and i feel wonderful, i actually feel energetic about school now, and i am energetic about studying to ace my exam tonight, all i need is a 92 or higher, and that will get me an a in the class
and from now on, its time i start using what i have, i am smart, i am not so stupid that i can only get get failing grades, or only get d's and c's
im smart enough to get all a's
from now on, i refuse to take anything lower than a B, and its too late for this semester, though i can still salvage an A from my finance class
and im really glad i took that class, its good for me being well off down the line, financially of course, but business is not going to be my focus, i have something i want to do, thanks from some support from the mom, im passionate about what i want to do, things are so much easier to do when someone supports what youre doing, so i have my plan from now until i get out of college
so tomorow im going to finish up the testing at augusta staffing then to school for my last hour of art to collect my things, and then its on to the office to redeclare my major and find an advisor, then im going to talk to my advisor and find out exactly what i need to do to get what i want
and my mom has an offer so i may be able to get back in school this jan now!!!
and it is something that wont financially burden anyone, and will actually help a couple of people that i love and care a lot for
and no, im not going to say what i want to do, because then everyone, especially YOU will think that im just doing it because its something you like, but as i said when we talked about it once before, its something that ive wanted to do for a while, but now again, i have support, and im going to try to not listen to my dad about it anymore
but yeah
i have a new living situation coming up
not the one i had planned, but better for me in the long run,
and i know im not gonna be able to waste as much time anymore, or do as many sgoofy things, but thats a good thing, and ill prolly lose some friends,
but i havent felt like this sine the day i quit drugs, by that i mean, yeah, ill lose friends, or loose contact with them anyway, but i really dont care, becasue im so excited about this, and because its good for me
so anyway, thank you mom, for supporting me, and helping me put things in perspective for me, which your support alone could have done
the lazy peice of shit ryan of the last 8 months, or maybe longer, is now gone, and welcomely so
sadly, im actually happy enough about this that my heart has been fast for 2 hours now |
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| unjustify |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|08:09 pm] |
my dearest pinnochio
every time we speak
your nose but grows
your words so weak
As you continue to define
exactly what i am
how could you have known
when you never gave a damn
i thought we had written
my essence to your mind
obviously not
or your heart has become blind
the words are unseen
i just know theyre there
i wrote them in vocalizations
my fingers in your hair
i am not them
i am no one at all
i know i explained this
calling from the hall
you said you understood
you thought you knew
these words i said
none but true
a greater beauty
your unjust scapegoat
its time to leave
grab your coat
these words so white
pink and red
surrogate emotions
now gone; dead
the feelings lost
and words so cruel
you doubt what i said
youre such a fool
so was it ever
something real
or was i stupid
to think you could feel |
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